[Action]

[abidinglaw]

[After having shown his face little over the past few days – probably a joint consequence of not wanting to catch whatever Jack had and wanting even less to be press ganged into holding his bloody soup spoons – Norrington begins this morning absent from his bright and bedless bedroom. He wakes with the rising sun for a rousing stroll on the beach. On the way back, with Cullen house lit by the crisp light of morning, he recalls the recent ice storms and all at once he has a goal for the day. Assess the house for damages. If any housemates are home they might just hear some curious scrapings on the exterior of Cullen house, the occasional bangings, but most ominous of all will likely be the prolonged intermittent silences. Never you mind. It's probably just a woodpecker.

Later in the day he'll be in the village proper for the first time in days and days and days. The item shop is a high priority, and he spends a long time there scrutinizing things with narrowed eyes and a chin cradled in the crook made by his thumb and index finger. Later still, he'll be stopping in at Good Spirits for the sake of overhearing village-gossip. He'll even politely clear his throat behind one or two people in aid of this noble goal. It's amazing what a brief absence will do for a man's social skills.]

Comments

[all7seas]

These are the kind of bangings that are just intermittent and arhythmic enough to plunge a man into madness. They occur at the least opportune moments: just when Jack Sparrow is bringing a mouthful of Buffy-made soup to his lips,

Bugger!

or closing his eyes for a nap,

OH FOR THE

or trying to balance a mug of hot coffee on his knees.

OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH BOGGIT BOLLOCKS OUCH BOLLOCKS!

Loud, shouty, thumpy bangs.

And then...then...then the silence.

...

No more bangs?

.......

BANG

...............................................

What was that cracking sound?

.....................

AND ANOTHER BANG. And more silence.

....

Some


odd






tappity tap tapping? Tappity




Tappit--









tip tip tip tap scritch scritch tap








BANG.




Right. Now? Now there will be Retribution Moste Foul.

Jack throws down his borrowed copy of Cosmo, vacates his sickbed/couch, pulls on his boots, and locates a broom. It's time to deal out a little disturbing-the-peace justice.

He will be very carefully sneaking around the house, hoping to catch the admiral unawares and teach him a lesson about brooms and how they can be used to beat a man who will insist on banging at odd intervals.

[abidinglaw]

Maybe the banging just sounded louder and more jarring from inside the house where bangings and scrapings had no right to be. On the other hand, maybe he coincidentally happened to have calmed down a little just as Jack came brooming his way around the corner. The admiral was testing the structural integrity of a series of panels of exterior siding. After gently taptaptaptapping he tucked the handle of the hammer under his waistband and set to running his fingers over the edges, feeling for cracks and fissures. Jack, so far, went entirely un-noticed.

[all7seas]

Jack ducked back behind the corner and wound that broom up like Mighty Casey up at bat. At the very least he would give James Norrington a bristling that the other man wouldn't soon forget.

Slowly he began creeping closer to the admiral, weapon raised and at the ready.

[abidinglaw]

Ah yes. There was evidence of damage here. No doubt a rivulet of rain had found its way into a small crack in the wall here and frozen, thawed, and frozen again, widening the gap by slow degrees. It would need patching. Could he caulk the side of a building? Probably. The admiral had a stylus pinched between his lips and a short roll of paper at his hip. He removed the one now and made a scribble on it with the other.

[all7seas]

Closer. Closer. Of course, he couldn't broom the man without some sort of challenge. And besides, that scribbling piqued Jack's curiosity. The pirate stopped with the broom still in the ready-to-attack position.

"So we're banging today, are we?"

[abidinglaw]

Bwuagh! Surprise pirate! Norrington turned abruptly and with remarkably well cobbled-together focus almost managed to make his stylus seem vaguely threatening with the severity with which it was suddenly brandished. When that split-second of battle-readiness passed, he did not drop his stance. The man had a broom. His voice may have been in something of a high register when he countered:

"A good bit of banging -- passes the time."

Wait.

What?

Damn.

[all7seas]

"It does, doesn't it? A most wondrous way of passing the time. Regular visits being paid to Miss Sheena's tea shop, hmmm? Understood, mate, understood.

D'you know what else passes the time? Eh? Me. Me thrashing you soundly with a broom for carrying on that infernal OTHER sort of banging and making me spill boiling hot coffee on my tender yet fierce inner thigh region."

[abidinglaw]

With any luck there would be less banging around the house for a good few days, then. A victory for all involved.

"I am certain that Miss Sheena - whosoever she may be - is a worthy and respectable woman."

He must look quite the fool, mustn't he? Perhaps if he could snatch at the hammer-- but to do so would be to leave himself open. He'd need to wait for the right moment.

"And, moving swiftly on, I rather think you should be thanking for my contribution."

The admiral gave a gesture toward the house with his free hand, but sadly he did not manage to sweep that hand low enough to dare to grasp at the hammer.

[all7seas]

"Contribution? OH, you mean your contribution to Things That Threaten Jack's Sanity Today? Aye. Without yourself, that list would be very short indeed."

But his attention was captured by the gesture and he frowned as he observed the damage done by the weather. The broom, however, was not lowered.

[abidinglaw]

Ahah! A moment's distraction is all he needs to snatch the hammer and augment his ferocious appearance thus.

"Every little helps - and truly, I am only too happy to lend my assistance."

[all7seas]

A careful step back and to the side. Hammers beat brooms. Did hammers beat brooms? Paper beat rock. Rock beat scissors. He was going to beat the SNOT out of James Norrington.

There was a waggling of bristles as the pirate narrowed his eyes and took another sidestep. Circling.

"We're not going to find the proper siding this time of year. It's a spring project. Most we can do is patch it and protect it with tarp."

[abidinglaw]

If he threw the hammer he could probably make the pirate think twice. Aim for the chest. If Jack dodged he'd probably still have him in one shoulder or the other.

"Right you are then. Tarp. Do kindly lead the way."

Of course, if Jack was kept safely in front of him then there would be no danger at all.

[all7seas]

"No, sir. I do beseech thee to rabbit on ahead. I've some dusting to manage, you see. OH. There's a speck!" And the pirate lunged for the other man, determined to sweep him across the jaw in a not-very-clean sort of way.

[abidinglaw]

Norrington had the wall at his back -- he had not been matching the pirate's strafing because, really, what had he done to deserve any manner of attack? The bristled raked his face, but he pursued the shaft of the broom with the blunt force of his hammer.

Crack

[apirateslife]

"....You've BROKEN the broom!"

Well. At least some bristling had happened first.

[abidinglaw]

"Well, clap me in irons!"

He made a grab for the broom, now, or at least what remained in Sparrow's grasp. He was not hurt, of course. The bristles had whipped and scratched at his face, but there was barely a mark to show for it.

[all7seas]

"That's your game, mate, not mine!" And, in a huff, Jack flung the broom bits up onto the roof. Take THAT, you Morris-dancing-loving freak.

[abidinglaw]

Oh what a terrible shame. Now the menacing broom bits were out of reach of the pirate and at at once he was unarmed. Norrington, for his part, still had the hammer and the scribe -- and more, he now had the liberty to rub his itching broom-raked face.

"Boggit."

He said. It was a word that he had heard Jack use before -- though God knew what it meant. Probably something crass, but he expected that if Jack disliked the idea of playing the admiral's game he would like even less the idea of the admiral playing his.

[all7seas]

"Boggit."

Good. GOOD. The skin looked irritated! It looked uncomfortable! EXCELLENT.

"I don't think that word means what you think it means, son."

[abidinglaw]

"It means that I have this hammer."

He waggled the hammer.

"And you are unarmed. So yes, I rather think that you will be leading the way to the tarp after all."

[all7seas]

"Am I to gather that you think you can march me by hammerpoint?!"

[abidinglaw]

"Do not tempt me, Sparrow."

[all7seas]

"I'd like to see you try, Norrington!"

[abidinglaw]

"What do you plan to do exactly? Sneeze on me?

...

Please do not sneeze on me."

1/4

[all7seas]